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Attack of the 50ft Bikini Werewolf by Oliver Clegg
In the spirit of full disclosure I was provided a copy of this as an apology for being embroiled in a sordid conspiracy that literally came down to nothing more than a difference of opinion and paranoia.
We are told to not judge books by covers, but let's face it DMs Guild adventures are often very much judged so. It just so happens that this adventure happens to have an absolutely incredible cover by Luis Abadias (@Lluisabadias), evoking epic sci-fi B-movie vibes with the amusing fake credits, "Greg Tito as Surprised Commoner #2, Chris Perkins as Wandering Hat Salesman and Lysa Chen as the Lady of Cats" - Now there's an ExtraLife Charity Stream just begging to happen!
I remember seeing the twitter poll go up that first gave this project the green light and smothered its competitive siblings in their proverbial cradles, and was thoroughly excited to get my hands on this...which is why this review is so timely. It's certainly nothing to do with being accused of having a sordid affair with the writer of this module, Oliver Clegg (@deathbybadger), after reacting positively to previous works of his I enjoyed. Alas, our secret is now out and I am free to review as I will.
(side note: folx have differing opinions, it's the joy of subjectivity. Never be afraid to shout out your passion and enjoyment of something, because of others poo-pooing them.)
Attack of the 50ft Bikini Werewolf is "gigantic avatar of Malar, determined to rip apart the city
Whilst looking fabulous" Volo wants Meryl Streep, which really raises some questions since this was "written in one night at the Yawning Portal"
There is a very simple and easy to follow How To Play:
- Roll up 4-6th level 20 characters
- Write in your cast of characters into the empty spaces. They are the Movie Stars now.
- Play through the scenes, skipping and coming back scenes, as directed.
Notes From The Producer
"This is a comedy
It involves a 50 foot bikini Werewolf
Encourage players to be hyperbolic and silly
Screw the rules, you are the director and have ultimate power
There is no wrong, only people who cannot appreciate your Art as director of this movie "
Scene One: 40 Minutes of Setup
This scene contains six encounters with it being suggested to throw as many of them as you like at the party ahem cast, as they wander the City of Splendors and become acquainted with one another.
There's a baby that somehow ended up on a roof, a magical surge that leads to a gnomish inventor, an old man throwing grocery, rat babies (which has one of my favourite Volo quotes, "RAT BABIES? WHAT?! WHY?!"), one of the most bizarre fake outs/ twists I've ever read, and getting accosted by Volo determined to make a sale.
"They should get in trouble, sooner or later, that's when the CITY WATCH show up"
Scene Two: The Law Interferes But Gets It All Horribly Wrong
In this scene 20 City Guard arrive, led by the Veteran, Seth Cromley, and determine that the cast are "hoodlums causing a local nuisance".
Details and descriptions of Cromley included that give a wonderful and bizarre flavour of his personality, as well as a whole host of quotes for the Director to use, including the glorious, Python-esque, "You go around killing everyone with a disease do you? Murder every poor sod with athlete's foot?" We also discover that a certain someone has some kind of feelings...
There are different directions on how to proceed to scene three, depending on the casts' actions, with a suggested range of DCs.
Scene Three: The Disaster Starts And We All Try To Look Surprised
The power of Malar heightens, causing random citizens to become rampaging feral Werewolves with rule tweaks that reflect Minions from the previous edition and add a certain Jackson Pollock effect to the Waterdavian cobbles.
Seven other Werewolf variants are included, each with their own additional ability, whether it be flying, being on fire, having firearms, among others.
Cutscene: Rise of the 50ft Werewolf
This is when we see a random commoner (which Volo is not impressed about) suddenly become 50ft Werewolf. We can see the storyboard of the 50ft Werewolf and Volo asking the important question, "Did we ever establish why the Werewolf was in a bikini?" If you have to ask that question, you clearly aren't picking up the absurd genius of Clegg, I mean Blagmaar.
Scene Four: Group Binding When We Have Time-Sensitive Things To Be Taking Care Of Elsewhere
Now is the time for rousing heroic and/or villainous posturing speeches, although not too long "that can wait for their origin story". There is actually a mechanic allowing for some healing and replenishing of Spell Slots for those who describe the camera shot and music playing during their monologue.
Scene Five: Expensive CGI Building Collapse
This is one huge simple deadly trap triggered by the boredom or distaste for comedy of the 50ft Bikini Werewolf with huge amounts of damage, pinning, or smug faces from those that avoid it.
Scene Six: Sudden But Inevitable Betrayal
The players get to choose which one of them were working with the Werewolf all along, leading to infighting and arguments, while the city is destroyed around them. Please note the expert DMing advice...
Scene Seven: Won't Somebody Think Of The Children?!
DAMN YOU CLEGG. I WAS AT THE DRS WAITING FOR AN APPOINTMENT WHEN I READ THE FIRST LINE AND BURST OUT LAUGHING!
This scene is both hilarious and a scathing attack on the absurdity of the sexualisation of the female breast and nipple, the damaging effects of children seeing such shocking things and the dangers such viewing could cause.
Scene Eight: Evacuate!
This scene contains a number of checks, challenges and battles to help one old man and his prized possessions. Another scene that had me giggling away at the doctors.
Scene Nine: Unlikely Explosion
Explosions. Fireballs. Exploding fireballs of Werewolves. What could be more fun? That's right the increasingly rambling and excitable interjections from the writer!
Scene Ten: Sexy Wolf Attack
Sadly, Volo has vetoed this scene. Perhaps I can start a change.org petition...
Scene Eleven: Avoid The Obvious Solution
Taking the Hollywood trope of avoiding the the obvious solution, with a number of amusing options available, and putting it on the Cast describe how they ignore and/ or misuse, while lamenting their hopeless situation is as ridiculous as it is brilliant! Alike Volo, "I have no words".
Scene 12: The Final Battle
The 50ft Bikini Werewolf is Gargantuan Monstrosity of epic proportions with all manner of legendary resistances, limited magic invulnerability and the cataclysmic rampage attack. What unfurls will truly be a battle for the ages with a whole host of quotes for the mighty villain to bellow at your pathetic cast, including, "there is no mercy for the weak or bankers" and "dance tiny meat sacks" among others I don't want to spoil.
This is 20 pages of absolute ridiculousness and hilarious fun with lashings whimsy and a little social commentary aka peak Clegg.
Taking the form of a spec script "written in one night at The Yawning Portal by Floon Blagmaar", who those familiar with Waterdeep and its Heists of Dragons will be familiar with, this adventure is set out in an interesting and engaging manner. Added comments and critiques from the famous Volvothamp Geddarm add an additional funny element, as does the image of Clegg reigning himself in when writing said comments. The is also a glorious absurdity of the meta narrative of being players playing actors in a film script written in Waterdeep about a further fictional Waterdeep, with the DM getting to pay director.
The wonderful storyboard, filmstrips and art sketches by Ashley Grace maintain the film script conceit, while adding some on theme art, rendering Clegg's...unique vision with style.
It's not often you yet to play with level 20 characters, so having a short contained adventure to experiment in is very welcome, and something that can provide great entertainment as a relatively short party game and/ or as a very bizarre introduction to D&D for newer players and a more experienced DM , or stretched out into something ridiculously epic by experienced DMs and players wanting to take this cinematic sandbox and run with it.
However, you play it, you cannot help but have fun and I can see so many tables full of folx crying with laughter at the antics this adventure with induce. It had me laughing loudly in public just reading it!
There is a Post Credits Scene...
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