Close
Close
Advanced Search

Joe Blow's Guide to Being an NPC
Quick Preview
/gs_flipbook/flip.php?xml=/demo_xml/296392.xml&w=500&h=324
Full‑size Preview
https://watermark.dmsguild.com/pdf_previews/296392-sample.pdf

Joe Blow's Guide to Being an NPC

ADD TO WISHLIST >
PDF
$4.95

"STOP RIGHT THERE, ADVENTURER! DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT BUYING THIS GUIDE!

I see you eyeing this deliciously attractive character supplement. Eight new classes has got your mechanical munchkin build theorems running on overdrive, I bet. I know what you are thinking, 'what new advantages could I unlock in the pages of this tome?' Well, I'll tell ya. NONE. ZIP. ZILCH. NADA. You've already got your Player's Handbooks and Xanthar's Guides and Starter Sets and splat books galore, you keep your grubby dungeon-delving hands off of this one. This guide is for the rest of us. The Peasants & Commoners whose names you barely take the time to learn while you make your pit stops in town, buying up all the ale so there's none left for us after a hard day's work. I promise you, there's nothing in here the likes of you would even want anyway. Nobody who takes one of these eight classes is going to survive even a single low-level dungeon delve. These aren't adventurer classes, they're peasant classes. Like I said, they are for the rest of us. So take your loot and your fancy class features and go get bent somewhere else!"

-Joe Blow, an NPC, probably



DARE to be ORDINARY!

Joe Blow's Guide to Being an NPC is a brand new fifth edition supplement that gives you 8 new character classes for playing peasants and commoners, not adventurers. Like Joe Blow said, if you're looking for something new to help you go adventuring, this ain't it. Each class only has 5 levels instead of the usual 20, and their class features are severely underpowered compared to their Player's Handbook counterparts. And if you're thinking "that's okay, I like a challenge," STOP. Most of the features aren't even helpful in combat, they are things like be a better blacksmith and get a dog. These aren't adventurers, they are peasants and commoners. The NPCs that you usually rescue from towns plagued by monsters? These classes let you play as them. If you can't think of why anyone would want to play a character class that caps at level 5 and is basically useless in combat, you probably aren't the target market for this product. On the other hand, if the idea of playing a campaign where you aren't the heroes for once sounds like fun, then maybe you should consider hitting that buy button.

Still not sure? The full preview goes all the way to page 13 (halfway through the book), which will allow you to see 3 of the 8 classes IN THEIR ENTIRETY before you have to make a decision about buying this. I wouldn't want you to accidentally buy this product without having a chance to make sure it is right for you, so please use the previews.

Unless you actually are a dickbag adventurer like the ones Joe Blow described. One of them kicked in my door last week and smashed all my pots, so, if you're one of them and you accidentally buy my book that's just karma baby.

IN THIS BOOK YOU WILL FIND SUPPLEMENTAL RULES FOR PLAYING THE FOLLOWING EIGHT CLASSES:

  1. The Barkeep
  2. The Blacksmith
  3. The Entertainer
  4. The Farmer (complete with dog pet)
  5. The Herbalist (spell effects + potions = brewcasting)
  6. The Merchant (profit while your NPC hireling fights for you)
  7. The Militia (pretend to be like a PHB class with all the trappings of a fighter but none of the good features to go with)
  8. The Priest (like the NPC in the monster manual, basically)

Plus, fun commentary and bad puns by none other than the most mediocre man alive: JOE BLOW HIMSELF!

Reach out to me on Twitter @JoshuaBarbeau. I'd love to hear from you.

 
 More from this Title's Contributors
 
 Customers Who Bought this Title also Purchased
Reviews (0)
Discussions (0)
Narrow Results
 Follow Your Favorites!
NotificationsSign in to get custom notifications of new products!











Product Information
Community Content
Artist(s)
Rules Edition(s)
Pages
26
Format
Original electronic
Scanned image
These products were created by scanning an original printed edition. Most older books are in scanned image format because original digital layout files never existed or were no longer available from the publisher.

For PDF download editions, each page has been run through Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software to attempt to decipher the printed text. The result of this OCR process is placed invisibly behind the picture of each scanned page, to allow for text searching. However, any text in a given book set on a graphical background or in handwritten fonts would most likely not be picked up by the OCR software, and is therefore not searchable. Also, a few larger books may be resampled to fit into the system, and may not have this searchable text background.

For printed books, we have performed high-resolution scans of an original hardcopy of the book. We essentially digitally re-master the book. Unfortunately, the resulting quality of these books is not as high. It's the problem of making a copy of a copy. The text is fine for reading, but illustration work starts to run dark, pixellating and/or losing shades of grey. Moiré patterns may develop in photos. We mark clearly which print titles come from scanned image books so that you can make an informed purchase decision about the quality of what you will receive.
Original electronic format
These ebooks were created from the original electronic layout files, and therefore are fully text searchable. Also, their file size tends to be smaller than scanned image books. Most newer books are in the original electronic format. Both download and print editions of such books should be high quality.
File Last Updated:
December 01, 2019
This title was added to our catalog on December 01, 2019.